Withstand with Courage

In light of recent opportunities I have been given to grow in patience, faith, long suffering and hope, I am resurrecting this little personal blog. It is my hope that it will be come a journal of inspiration for both myself and those that may read it. There will come a time of reflection when the current days of growth are behind me. Days where memories are full of insight for the future and so much learning from the past. The good news is that I slept last night. I am typing with heavy eyes and a hopeful heart that there is more sleep yet to be had. I know that prayer is my first line of defense in being able to go back to sleep but I felt impressed to "study" a little first. My mind has been a tornado of thoughts and emotions the last few days. There are times where I am happily riding out the storm from the safety of the shelter that I have created but oh so often the integrity of my shelter is compromised by the continuous winds. I am working on keeping my hammer with me at all times to strengthen my resolve and increase faith in The Lords plan. The First Presidency message for this month is "Withstand with Courage" “What does it mean to endure? I love this definition: to withstand with courage. Courage may be necessary for you to believe; it will at times be necessary as you obey. It will most certainly be required as you endure until that day when you will leave this mortal existence.” I have been given the opportunity to struggle with my health. Something I have taken for granted over the years and terribly abused as of late. How intricate the workings of our bodies that each system so intimately effects the others. I want my writings here to be less about the details of the day to day pains and symptoms and more about having and growing faith in Heavenly Father's plan for me. More about the examples of his hand in my life. “If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith.” I am learning to have gratitude for the challenges of this life and choosing to believe that my Heavenly Father's hand is in the small details of my life. He knows exactly the pain that I am experiencing. While I have what seems at the moment a new symptom every days. When the difficulty breathing comes I know that my Savior has experienced the same only with an intensity I could never imagine.There is a darkness that besets me. Times where the worry and the physical pain, the shortness of breath, the difficulty swallowing, each and every symptom is like a rain cloud coming to hover in attempts by the adversary to lesson my resolve and determination. I know that it will be through my faith and hope in my Savior that I will be able to HAPPILY endure all things. The 13th Article of Faith says, "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." I hope to be an example to my children and friends of someone who "endure(ed) all things". If Heavenly Father were to free us from our challenges simply because we asked, He would deny us the very experiences necessary for our salvation. We must learn to trust in God’s plan for us and submit our will to His. As we align our desires with His desires and acknowledge our complete dependence on Him, we may qualify to receive “the end of [our] faith, even the salvation of [our] souls” (1 Peter 1:9)