Patterns of Light: The Light of Christ

Looking through rose colored glasses.

There was a time not that long ago where I was convinced that many of my fellow Saints weren't looking at life, themselves and others through the clear glasses that adorn my face. They were quick to find spiritual references, exercise faith in the face of hardship and ever bold enough to tell me that perhaps there were more I could do. Rose. Colored. Glasses. I have anxiety. Debilitating anxiety. They have no idea what it's like to be me each day. To have that pit in your stomach and the knot in your chest from the minute your feet hit the ground. To be watching TV with your family and have a particular show come on. One that everyone else seems to be entertained by but that just undid any progress I had made at steeling my emotions and pretending to be "normal". No way, I do not need to gain control over my mind. I am in control. They are out of touch. Rose. Colored. Glasses. Fast forward 7 months. 7 long and painful months. 7 months of change. 7 humbling months in which the Lord used his tools and his angels to teach me and soften my heart. 7 months in which I learned that those indeed are rose colored glasses. They are the glasses of hope and love. Those rose colored glasses allow them the ability to see other's as Christ does and to serve tirelessly the ungrateful like myself. DC 88:67 And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things. I learned that I have been dismissing behaviors to my anxiety. I allowed the adversary to convince me that I wasn't capable of more. That the illness is what it is and that I was broken beyond repair. I allowed myself to give up on the light and to succumb to the darkness. It wasn't until the challenge came to gain control of my mind that I began to see the flicker of the flame within me. I realized where that light comes from. I had dulled its capabilities by allowing Satan to convince me that there was no way to overcome that dark corner of myself. That flicker was the Light of Christ within me. It has been a humbling and wonderful experience to fuel my flames and to fill myself with that light. To over power any darkness. It was in part thanks to my desire to share that light with others that Divine Energy was born. The light of Christ is the divine energy, power, or influence that proceeds from God through Christ and gives light and life to everything and might I add, everyone. Romans 12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. My power over the adversary and his influence on my mind comes from faith. Faith in the light that fills my soul. Faith that as I fuel the flames of goodness within my body that the light will grow and the darkness will dissipate and my body truly will be "filled with light" which is the light of Christ. "Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ is truly the "high priest of good things to come." As we care for the flicker of light within us we are given greater faith and control over our minds. As we exercise that faith our light grows and our opportunity to light the way for others increases. There truly will be no room for darkness.

Beyond The Veil - Lindsey Stirling (Original Song)

Weak things become strong...

The local leaders of my church have encouraged members to set goals. One of those goals is to "make our homes a refuge from the storm." There are times that I find myself hoping that our little piece of paradise will withstand the winds of the world. We are far from perfect in terms of doing some of the worldly wind sustaining things sometimes. I am often not as practical as I should be with finances or time. I'm sure I check out local Facebook yard sale sites more than I should. Thankfully we have the opportunity to grow and learn and become more like our Savior every day. The expectation of perfect only comes from those who are viewing others or themselves with worldly expectations. Our Heavenly Father never commanded that we have a particular BMI or only wear a particular brand. He thankfully didn't command us to all to be yuppies! I certainly would fail at that one.I am pretty sure I can't even spell Gucci or Prada (did I get those right?) and I've never had a frappe loppe moca cocoa anything to drink. I like layers and long sleeves, camouflage and black, Mt. Dew and any casserole sent my way. Ether 12:27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. Thankfully he expects us in all our imperfectness to come to him. He knows we are full of unmet expectations guilty of burnt dinners, raised voices, tears of disappointment, hurt feelings, financial strains, extra pounds, Walmart brand clothes and wearing Cowboy boots and gym shorts. Aside from our Redneck fashion choices, it's our faith that will give us strength. Through faith in our Savior and his atonement, faith in his infinite wisdom, faith in his plan, we will be able to see our weaknesses much less as imperfections and more as opportunities. "Weak things become strong" Tomorrow morning I'll be putting sassy mouthed, high BMI body in my Walmart bought black dress and taking all my imperfectness to church. Where thankfully I will get the opportunity to learn more of how through my faith in my Savior I can overcome the disappointments and unmet expectations and begin to see myself and others as my Heavenly Father does. I'll learn of the purposes behind being broken and the blessings that come from humbling ourselves and committing to finding ways to serve others. I'll start again at setting aside time for myself to read, study and pray. I'll plan activities and time to be with my family and to eliminate the "noise" of the world by doing things together that will help us to see the love that Chris has for us and for each of God'd children. I'll use all of the humbling experiences as proof of my Heavenly Father's trust in me. I will use my weakness, strengthen my faith and become STRONG!

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

If you're happy and you know it then your life will surely show it if you're happy and you know it clap your hands. I read a quote this morning by Viktor Frankl. He was a psychiatrist who survived the holocaust. He wrote, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." I love his perspective. I wish I had his resolve. I will say that my glass is usually half full. I often wonder who drank the other half and once in awhile I wonder who's gonna pay for my next Diet Coke. There's an old Chinese saying that says,"Half and orange tastes just as sweet as a whole one." Perspective is such a crazy thing to me. It's incredibly how the adversary can control so much of our lives simply through his influence on our perspective of things. I came across a quote this morning during my studies by Elder Vern Stanfill, "No matter how intense the darkness of doubt, we choose how long and to what extent we allow it to influence us. We must remember how much our Heavenly Father and His Son love us." Today I am choosing sun. I've been in the darkness, I've lived through the partly cloudy. Those days may come again, I may lose perspective. That's what makes me human. Today I am choosing to enjoy the happiness that Heavenly Father intended for me. I will control my thoughts and my actions and I will bask in the warmth and goodness that this life has to offer. Today, I will press forward! Press forward through the doubts and sadness, press forward through the temptations and whatever obstacles are in my path. I am choosing my own way. I am choosing to believe that I am a daughter of Heavenly Father. Cherished, loved and adored! It's my hope and prayer for those of you reading this that you will feel strengthened and empowered to do the same. We can choose happy!

Faith Enough

"May we have enough faith to accept the goodness of God and the mercy of his Only Begotten Son. May we come unto him and his gospel and be healed. And may we do more to heal others in the process. When the storms of life make this difficult, may we still follow his bidding to “come,” keeping our eye fixed on him forever and single to his glory. In doing so we too will walk triumphantly over the swelling waves of life’s difficulties and remain unterrified amid any rising winds of despair. I pray we will hear this very night that sweet utterance from the Savior of the world: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden. . . . And ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:28–29). “Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid” (Matthew 14:27). I pray this for you and for those you can help, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ. Amen."

HAPPY

If you're happy and you know it then your life will surely show it if you're happy and you know it clap your hands. I read a quote this morning by Viktor Frankl. He was a psychiatrist who survived the holocaust. He wrote, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." I love his perspective. I wish I had his resolve. I will say that my glass is usually half full. I often wonder who drank the other half and once in awhile I wonder who's gonna pay for my next Diet Coke. There's an old Chinese saying that says,"Half and orange tastes just as sweet as a whole one."



Perspective is such a crazy thing to me. It's incredibly how the adversary can control so much of our lives simply through his influence on our perspective of things. I came across a quote this morning during my studies by Elder Vern Stanfill, "No matter how intense the darkness of doubt, we choose how long and to what extent we allow it to influence us. We must remember how much our Heavenly Father and His Son love us."



Today I am choosing sun. I've been in the darkness, I've lived through the partly cloudy. Those days may come again, I may lose perspective. That's what makes me human. Today I am choosing to enjoy the happiness that Heavenly Father intended for me. I will control my thoughts and my actions and I will bask in the warmth and goodness that this life has to offer. Today, I will press forward! Press forward through the doubts and sadness, press forward through the temptations and whatever obstacles are in my path. I am choosing my own way. I am choosing to believe that I am a daughter of Heavenly Father. Cherished, loved and adored!



It's my hope and prayer for those of you reading this that you will feel strengthened and empowered to do the same. We can choose happy!

Who You Are: A Message To All Women

Keep on keeping on!

The last couple of weeks....well, they have been challenging. My baby girl is growing up and headed to swim in the sea of sharks without a life vest or a spear. Ok, not really. But she did leave me to work away from home all summer. It's like she thinks she's an adult now or something. Add to that the fact that my FAVORITE fish died. I'm an emotional wreck. Well, more a hot mess than wreck but you get my drift. It's been a crappy week. Part of the problem with a craptastic week is that in my case it can leave the windows wide open for the adversary to start crawling in. I hope I'm not alone in that sometimes I lose sight of the things I should be doing to defend myself from that dementor. I'm grateful for the atonement and the opportunity to start again, to do better than before and to focus my thoughts and actions on the Savior. I consider it my way of slamming that window down on the adversary's fingers! I keep a 4x6 card on my wall over my computer. It's something I typed up based on a YouTube video I love. Tonight was a night I pulled that video up. I needed it. I needed to hear it and see it. I NEED to remember it. Check it out in the next post! As for tonight, when I looked at that 4x6 card, trying to turn my focus, reprogramming my thinking I took in the words at the bottom. I've used them here before and I will use them here again. Note to self: I AM ENOUGH. Friends, I couldn't say it any better than Elder Jeffery R. Holland when he said, "Keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever," "Only the adversary, the enemy of us all, would try to convince us that the ideals outlined in general conference are depressing and unrealistic, that people don’t really improve, that no one really progresses. And why does Lucifer give that speech? Because he knows he can’t improve, he can’t progress, that worlds without end he will never have a bright tomorrow. He is a miserable man bound by eternal limitations, and he wants you to be miserable too. Well, don’t fall for that. With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we can improve, and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed." As I pick up and dust off I do so with renewed resolve. I am awesome. My worth surpasses all earthly things.....and so does YOURS!

Matthew 11:28-30 28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. I've been considering what it means to be successful. I have people ask me all the time if I am having success. What does that even mean? Are we successful if we make lots of money? Have lot's of friends? Have a house or camper or other toys? Or are we successful if we find ourselves living each day trying to love as the Savior loved? Serve as the Savior served? I hope that success is measured in terms of the latter.

Face each day with a new coat of paint!

I think nothing of changing my nail polish. In fact, if I had to take it off daily and reapply....I probably would. New color, smooth finish. There are lots of choices when it comes to colors and even finishes now days. Each application gives you a new and unique attribute. It's easy to show off your personality based on your nails via shape, color, decoration. Who knew nail polish or even lack there of could say so much? I've decided as of late that my nail polish speaks volumes about me. There are days like today where I don't have any on. It's back to basics. It's about functionality and getting things done. Then there are the days where a new coat goes on. Those days it's about preparing my best self to go out and face the world. The days in the middle where the color looks good and isn't chipped or coming off...those are the days where I am in the trenches. Out working hard and running around, those days I am often barely keeping my head above water and that is WITH my water wings on. Those days are also the days that perhaps I am taking the time to live. To live in the moment and to feel the sun on my face or watch my son play baseball. Those are the days that preparing the family meals is more important than the blog post or the jewelry order waiting to be put together. Then, when the going gets tough and the tough have been going non-stop and the polish begins to chip and crack, well, much like the atonement works in our lives, the polish remover comes out and the nails are wiped clean. Back to basics to begin again. Depending on where you are at in and what circumstances you are currently living through, it's o.k. not to repaint for a bit. Call upon the Angels of the Lord to surround you and protect you, ask Heavenly Father for direction and purpose, pray for your friends and neighbors that they will be watched over and protected. Then, when you are ready, put on your armor and grab your weapons and get back in there! DC 90:24 "Search diligently, pray always, and be believing and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly."

Have I Done Any Good? featuring Alex Boye and Carmen Rasmusen Herbert - ...

Ordinary Inspiration

What inspires you? I have definitely been inspired by a beautiful, warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie. The bigger the cookie the more inspiring it is. You feel me? I have more than once had to shut up the skinny girl within with a cookie or two. Thin mints. THOSE are inspiring! So inspiring in fact that I can force myself to eat an entire sleeve in one sitting. Delicious. Aside from inspiring my inner food critic I find inspiration in so many places. Where does it come from for you? Do you believe that it is the Spirit speaking to your heart? Is it a moment of clarity and genius? Is it the result of just being an incredibly hard working? The thing about inspiration is that it is freely given to all. It isn't something only those with prestige receive. Ordinary people are often inspired to do extraordinary things. I think that one of the things that brings inspiration is ones ability to see within themselves something divine. Too many of us assume that a person is only great if they are publicly recognized for their efforts, creativity. In fact, sometimes the most inspiring people in the world will go completely unnoticed. What inspires are the people who do something to better humanity in their own small corner of the world. I find lots of inspiration through music, my faith, those I surround myself with. I am proud to associate with some of the most ordinary people who are capable of inspiring some of the most extraordinary things!

Mine Angels Round About You

My heart hurts tonight. I know that we can't expect that life will always bring us rainbows and chocolate pooping unicorns. I'm even fine to admit that there really isn't a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But sometimes it just sucks to think about the bad things happening to some of the great people I know. Through association I made a necklace for a mom who delivered her baby super early. He hasn't ever left the walls of the NICU. His mama didn't ever get the chance to snuggle in bed on the cool mornings those first months of his life. I work in the NICU upon occasion. I have no doubt that her baby was met every day and night with the greatest of nursing care, but I'm sad tonight for his mama and all of the missed milestones. Heavenly Father knows always when to send encouragement and also knows me all too well. I read this scripture just earlier today. "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up (D&C 84:88)." It's the same scripture that I used for the glass charm that I put on the necklace I originally made for his mom. I want you to know that I know Heavenly Father watches over all of us. He knows us each individually. He is aware of me and of you and of our potential. He loves us. If we talk to Him he will listen. There’s no problem too small to talk to Him about, and there’s no problem too big to talk to Him about. Most importantly in times such as the one for this young mom, if we ask him to send His ministering Angels to surround and protect us He will send them.

Success

Predictability

Where are my stinking keys? Some things in life a just plain predictable. I was thinking for instance the sunset. Don't worry, I couldn't help myself and I googled predictable things. As any good internet searcher I went to the first sight listed that didn't have any obscenities in the view-able lines. Reddit did not disappoint! What is as predictable as me losing my keys......the agony of pooping after eating jalapenos. What? TMI? Mkay. I digress.... I work in an environment that is often VERY predictable. As much as each patient is different there's so much about their stay and their care that is to be expected. I'm blessed beyond measure to work in a NICU and as you can imagine there are times that we (the parents, staff, the doctors) often call upon the Heavens on behalf of the babies. I was able to do my part as a daughter of God and communicate with my Heavenly Father on behalf of the tiny infant as well as his parents. I was given the opportunity to share in a sacred moment with them. When the noise of the hospital stopped, the Spirit was strong, and the humble father took a minute on behalf of his son to communicate with his Heavenly Father. To call upon the angels to surround his tiny baby and to comfort him. While it of course went back to business as usual here in the nursery, for one small moment it felt as though the Heavens had opened and the angels had descended. I hope that the parents felt what I felt. I draw comfort from the prophet Elisha when he said, “Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them” (2 Kings 6:16) Angels attend to us during some of the most difficult moments of our lives. They surround us when we are discouraged, depressed and scared. I had an experience myself during a hospitalization that I will share at a later date, but it solidified my testimony of Angelic presences in our lives. I know we have both earthly angels as well as Heavenly. How predictable are the angelic presence in your life? Are you living in such a way to be in tune with those around you that have come out of love for you? Are you inspired by their love? After my experience where it is near impossible to deny their presence. That experience, those memories, and feelings. They inspire me to be a better person. To love more freely. To be the kind of person that uplifts others. Who's with me? What uplifts and inspires you? How can you uplift and inspire another? I read a great quote that said,"By uplifting others, you rise higher towards your own destiny."

Hide and Seek

As a child it was such an adrenaline rush to hear the person counting out loud and take off running in search of the best spot to hide. Who didn't want to be the one that was never found? The one still hiding even after they gave up looking. I loved being that kid. The one who would then stroll in nonchalantly and say,"How did you not find me?" Maybe that game of hide and seek was much like my life in terms of self worth and confidence. I knew if I was found there was no way I was going to be able to out run them. I knew when they didn't find me it was so much because of their inability to see me but because they were distracted with the excitement of the game. I wasn't really hiding because I had this great spot. I was hiding because I knew I would never be able to tag someone else out and I would be stuck as "it" forever. I hid until everyone gave up so I could pretend I was better than them. So I could go in and tease them for not finding me. I was embarrassed to be me. Maybe instead of focusing on myself so much I should have been more willing to play the game. Be found and take my turn being "it" so that someone else didn't feel self-conscious. In an article titled, "Finding Self-Worth in a Selfie World" the author Henry references the game hide and seek. He says,"What if outward compassion rather than inward reflection is the barometer with which God measures our intended purpose and value?" Well craptastic. All that time spent wallowing in my own imperfections. All the time spent measuring myself next to my friends. All that wasted time. If I really wanted to serve my Heavenly Father maybe as Henry Unga suggests, as I love and serve others as my Heavenly Father expects there wouldn't be such wasted time rolling around like a hot pig in my mud puddle of self loathing. "I’ve swung too far from what I once understood about self-worth and have parlayed my divine identity into an idea of someone I’m not quite and perhaps never will be." I look at others and I don't think twice about their best being all they have to give. Why on earth would the expectation be different when I look internally? This afternoon I leave you with the lyrics from Daughter of a King. Here's to kicking those steel toed boots right in my buns and remembering yesterday's Note to Self. Love more, laugh when you want to cry and for Heaven's sakes, take off that white silk and throw on some camo! Daughter of a King Solos to Sing, Submitted Music (2007-2011) Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? Who will I be? Did Heavenly Father really send His Son to die for me? Yes, He is real. I feel his spirit whisper from heaven, guiding my way, Helping me understand His love is never far away. I believe He knows my purpose; He knows my spirit; He knows my name. His love gives me the faith to learn of Christ and why He came. I will stand among the faithful, my testimony lighting the way. I’ll be a witness of and walk the path of Christ today. I gaze up towards heaven, and my soul begins to sing. Heavenly Father loves me; I’m the daughter of a king. Text: Lana Osmus Music: Lana Osmus Album: Submitted Music (2007-2011) Composition Date: 2009 More Info: CMS 2009

Renewal through writing...

I am renewing this blog for several reasons. One, I sell jewelry. Affordable items that share inspiration, uplift, recognize and share The Lord's hand in my life. But two, as a means to leave a journal for my posterity. If you have followed the bread crumbs here looking for a girl with perfect grammar, rhyming skills, quick come backs and hilarious one liners.....move along little doggie. If you are looking for someone with good intent, sass and sarcasm and an unfaltering love for her Savior Jesus Christ, her family and her chihuahua. Then hop on in the wagon and come along for the ride. The first story I want to remember was from the boutique show I just attended as a vendor this weekend. I seem to have a great gift for picking show's that are either new or run by some one who is inexperienced. Either way, this was a two day event and it was SO slow. I think I had only sold a couple items the first day. Saturday, the second day went much the same. Although there were lots of people that stopped to look. It was nearing the end of the show and gal waled into my booth. She came in, started looking around and loved everything. She commented on the "feel" of the booth. She said it "felt right". Anyhow, she came in and started looking around. She looked through the charms and started a handful of ones that she wanted. She asked about charms that were on necklaces already packaged and ready to go. I went ahead and decided to take them out of the package and remove them from the necklaces. She proceeded to tell me that she loved the feel of my booth. That there was something special about me and my products. As corny as it may sound, she told me that she had prayed before coming into the show that Heavenly Father would lead her to the place she needed to be to get whatever it was he would have her buy.I'll admit, I'm not sure I have ever put that much thought into a shopping trip. I'd have never guessed that Heavenly Father would lead someone to buy a $12 necklace, but it was then that I realized. It's not about the price. It's about the symbolism. The love and hope. It's about the uplifting messages. I set out to be a light to others and I am so grateful that when my own flame began to burn out that Heavenly Father sent this woman to me. To brighten my life and strengthen my spirit. It's my hope and prayer today that we all remember that we are worth much more than the price tags on our clothes. We are loved, powerful and strong. We are capable, cherished and adored. We are DIVINE daughters of a Heavenly Father that loves us. Note to self: Price has little to do with the sparkle of the heart. If you are still following along at this point and it's not because you are hoping for a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow....then check out my first listings for hand stamped jewelry. I'm feeling especially blessed and made this piece to express it. https://www.etsy.com/your/shops/DivineEnergyCTR/tools/listings/view:table,stats:true/279940012

Divine Energy

I have had so many people comment on the name I chose to represent my jewelry. I've been pondering over many different comical ways to introduce you to the idea behind the name. Truth is, there isn't anything comical about it. There's so much meaning and symbolism behind the name Divine Energy. I'd be remiss if I used this opportunity to show of my sass and sarcasm. Divine Energy is the Light of Christ. It's an influence for good. After the year of health issues that the previous posts address I was left with a heavy heart, great financial burden, and an all around darkness. On an especially dark day in January, I was overwhelmed with the torment of my mind. In desperation I went to my Heavenly Father, I prayed, more like begged for relief. Relief from myself and the trials that I was facing at the time. I know I am not alone in feeling that way. The adversary will have us believe we have been abandoned. Forgotten. That our good wasn't good enough. That the world would go on without us for the better. It was in those moments of desperation when pleading with my Heavenly Father that the name Divine Energy was manifest. We each have within us divine qualities. Not unlike Esther of the Old Testament, we have each been placed here at this time for a divine purpose. I believe that The Lord can place us each in particular circumstances so that we can be of service to others. As President Utchdorf said “The Lord gave you your responsibilities for a reason. There may be people and hearts only you can reach and touch. Perhaps no one else could do it in quite the same way” (“Lift Where You Stand,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2008, 56). In that statement is my hope for Divine Energy. To share my love for my Savior Jesus Christ. I am just an imperfect, anxiety ridden woman hanging onto the handlebars of life. I am striving to be strong, to serve more and love unconditionally. I'm just a simple country girl hoping to be a light in the storms of life to others. I pray thatt these little pieces of light will shine for you or for those you are considering buying jewelry for. May we all be a little kinder, laugh a little more often, love our Savior faithfully and wear more camouflage. Note to self: I AM ENOUGH Check back tomorrow to see what kind of uplifting trouble I can get into!

one of the leaders of my church was quoted as having said,“Adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way.” I'm tired of character development! He has also been quoted as having said,“It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.” Tonight my life's story is a sad one. It's frustrating when I can't even sit in a chair long enough to type this without having to bend and contort my body to relieve the pain. Can't walk 600 steps around the block. Can't stand to do dishes, bend to clean bathrooms, the list goes on and on. Tonight I give up the fight. Tomorrow I will start again, try and have renewed fight. Tomorrow I will make waves and I'll be alright. As for tonight I've had it. I am indeed choosing to develop this story by putting myself to bed. I hope your tomorrow is sunny and bright. I pray for us all that the pain and gray skies of life might quickly give way to lots of SUN. Bright clear skies and a wonderful warm sun.